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Wilderness's Eulogy

Screaming

Campus Woods

A Man's World

Screaming.

It’s a constant buzz in my brain.

Filling my lungs full of smoke and ashes.

People run through me,

use me, abuse me.

 

I am dead, yet somehow still breathing.

 

Another chunk is taken out of my body.

“Virgin Wood”

they call it.

Meant for some grander purpose other than the one it was already here for.

Miles and miles of my forests are cut down

and used for what.

Toilet paper?

A new notebook?

A coffee table that will be thrown out in five years?

 

I’m screaming, yet nobody hears.

 

My bowls are full of microplastics.

The cells in me slowly dying

choking on energy that was never there.

Bellies full of beads never meant to sustain even the smallest of my creatures.

 

I used to be a home.

 

A place where people could take refuge.

Find love, find peace.

Find solace on a cold winter’s night

where no one else cared whether you would see tomorrow.

 

Screaming.

 

I am slowly dying. Being stripped away.

Piece by piece. Hour by hour.

Bills signed. Orders proclaimed.

All for their betterment.

My loss.

 

Yet.

There is hope.

 

A new group of humans.

They see me. Hear my screams.

Heed my warnings and feel my call.

They come with warm embraces

and trash bags.

Lots of trash bags.

 

Piece by piece is picked up and taken out of my woods.

New life is given to my barren lands.

They’re coming back

In droves.

To visit and see my beauty

Restore it to its former glory.

 

My children are coming back to me.

My streams are bubbling again.

The birds echo my call.

“Take only what you need”

“Visit often.”

“Don’t overconsume and abuse me.”

 

Will it stay?

Will I still be held in reverence and glory?

Or will I turn

into the products

of your labor once more?

Spring. Summer. Autumn. Winter.

I’m here every day, every hour.

Waiting for you to come visit.

 

Surrounding you with my beauty.

I sit in silence as you pass by.

The fruits you used to eat still grow under my canopy.

Waiting for you to discover it again.

 

The deer graze under my watchful eye.

Alert and anxious for your return.

The birds sing songs of your praise.

Of how you used to come here every day.

With your friends,

Family,

Lovers,

 

You brought bottles and baskets.

Frisbees and notebooks

All for your games and days out under my leaves.

Pictures were snapped (as were the twigs)

Paintings slapped on canvases with bags strewn about my floor.

Bottles left behind after hours underneath my shade.

 

As the seasons changed, so did you.

You grew taller,

Wiser.

Brought more and more things with you.

Even your dog, Teddy.

Then something changed.

 

One day

You stopped coming

I grew lonely. So very lonely.

Seasons passed by without you.

I only had the ghosts to keep me company

Other students came and left,

But it wasn’t the same.

 

They didn’t talk to me like you did.

Never told me about your whimseys and woes.

I waited, and waited, and waited.

In the spring, I grew the brightest wildflowers

You would have loved them.

My stream ran cool, just how you loved it.

 

In the summer,

I made my canopy reach for the sky

looking for you.

The days were hot, but I kept the forest floor cool for you.

Some of my plants were starting to fruit.

I held onto them as long as I could,

But they still fell to the ground.

 

In the fall, I put on the most dazzling show.

Colors you couldn’t dream up, I splashed onto my leaves.

Waiting.

Hoping that you would return.

 

The deer started asking about you.

They would whisper to the ghosts

In the dark of winter

Wondering where you’ve been

The ghosts would whisper back

They left.

 

Then one fateful day

 

You came back

With a class full of people

Phone in one hand

A water bottle in the other

Wide, determined eyes, ready to take on the world

And all I had to offer.

 

I’m so glad you came back.

A woman’s place

Is in the home.

The domestic place is

Where she ought to belong.

Yet,

She stands at the edge of the forest.

Staring into the abyss

The miles and miles of trees lie ahead

Tempting her

Begging her to come in.

 

She mustn’t,

Shouldn’t.

There's a place to be at home.

A dinner to be cooked,

Dishes washed,

Clothing to be hung out on the line.

 

Yet,

The dunes call to her,

Winds whisper in her ears,

“Come and play!”

“Learn what we have to teach you.”

“There is time for the things at home

When we are done.”

 

She stands at the edge of the wilderness.

It’s great expanses holding arms open wide

“Come to me!”

The trees sing

“We will care for you in ways society never could!”

 

And she listens

She walks into the woods,

climbs the mountains,

travels the far reaches of the ocean

and she learns

 

She learns how to read the stars

What is good to eat

Where to go to stay warm and dry

She builds a home for herself

Plank by plank

Becoming the rugged man society told her she would be

If she ever stepped foot

In the woods

 

She doesn’t look back

Not when her husband calls

Or when her phone starts to ring

Emails go unanswered for days, weeks, months, years

The wilderness never felt so freeing

 

It’s been 10 years

She hasn’t aged a day

The wilderness taught her the secrets to life

To be unending and ever present

To just be

Alive

And one with herself

Her wild side

 

For it wasn’t the wind whispering

Or the trees singing

Or the dunes holding space

It was herself and the women before her

Who taught her how to be

How to live amongst nature and live with its bounty

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